Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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