Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
