I feel like abortions should bother me more
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
