GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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