Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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