So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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