I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
