Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
