on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
