Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
