What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
