You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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