with your own penis?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
