38 yer olds are good kisserssss
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
