I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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