So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
