you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
