she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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