i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
