The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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