Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
