Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
