I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
