you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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