We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You have to summon your inner elephant
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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