i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
