I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
