Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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