you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
There r osticjed everywhere
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
