Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
