Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
