went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
