drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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