I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
