Yo dont text me then not text me
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
