Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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