Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
