sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
