don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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