just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
