hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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