so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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