My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
