OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
this will be a night to untag.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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