I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
