I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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