Plan B is the new Plan A
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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