What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
