so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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