i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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