If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
